Fire Your Manager

While pursuing my Bachelor’s degree in Information Technology in a college situated at a remote, obscure village in Maharashtra, India, I underwent a tense period in my life, mulling round the clock about my destiny, vividly desiring and guessing, what my ultimate software job would be? Will some software company employ me? What happens if I am not able to procure a decent job in a reputed software firm? How cool will it be to work in an MNC, with the I.D dangling in front, suspended from the ribbon gracing my neck? Will I manage to sneak into one of those posh buildings where most of the MNCs seem to function? I am certain that these fancy yet fundamental questions would have crossed your mind, regardless of whichever, inferior or superior institution you have graduated from or are in the monotonous grind of achieving the requisite merit.

The curiosity and apprehensions were infinite as my mind periodically oscillated from the heap of physical objects, consisting of a large number of pages bound together, and the bitter, harsh reality surrounding me, into the more charming, lustrous, unchartered territories. Eventually I managed to complete my degree within the stipulated time of four long-drawn years, allowing me to migrate from the overpowering, foul-smelling rural atmosphere, polluted by the constant emission of harmful gases released from the sugar cane factory, to the more urban, jazzy part of the world. Pune was my new destination and it was here that I got my first break after some expected hassle as a software developer in a reasonably noted, well!!! But not so lavish MNC. At first sight it looked to me like a secret society closely guarded and run by priory of sion, or in simple terms obnoxious, hostile managers. Even before I punched down my first lines of code, I could clearly perceive the strange exercise of fascism, annihilating the dazed spirits within. The uncanny environment made me instantly recollect a famous quote of William Shakespeare from the Merchant of Venice play “All that glisters is not gold!”. You cannot judge the heart of a girl from the beauty in her face; a bare fact coined by W.B Yeats in his poem “A Prayer for My Daughter” which holds true in these pretentious times and was sincerely, genuine in my case as well. Do all managers behave in such imperial way? I asked myself viewing the royal tyranny with which the managers in my company portrayed themselves. Some say “There is always a first time!”, Yes! This was the first time in my life that I had been exposed to such arbitrary, authoritative managers who would wield to find inconceivable ways to get there work done.

“All right!!! The corporate ragging is about to commence, be prepared for the mind-boggling agitation.” I warned myself after getting a hang of the professional atmosphere.

Thankfully by God’s grace I defied much of the torments, though few nominal ones are still left to be eluded, but at least for the time-being, the trauma, the mental, and physically exhaustive period is over. Subsequently, weathering the storm, I began wondering about the necessity and implications of yielding managers, who according to me are an ignominious, dispensable by-product of management. I patted my back in my mind, congratulating myself triumphantly for not taking the leap in management studies, which would have been a sheer, outright waste of time and my father’s laboriously earned money.

“These guys haven’t even completed a management course! What would have been their temperament had they done one? What? Which management book it is? How to become a management geek in twenty-one days? I bet another book will come out shortly, bragging over the title, how to become a nerdy manager in seven, straight days!!! Just reading a few, so called management strategy books, written by equally demented authors and you tag yourself as a manager?” I asked myself sniffing the sorry state of impractical self-learning theories adopted by our employed clergymen, to which most of us had meekly succumbed and fallen prey to!!!

I strained my neurons extensively, in an effort to dwell on much publicized management hysteria, as several basic queries cropped in my mind one of which is, how would you define a manager? A person responsible for getting people together, to accomplish the desired goals and objectives… that is what the bookish definition states. In most of the cases or companies for that matter the “accomplish” word is replaced by “dictate”, a false doctrine adopted by present, profane managers. I have asked myself several times “Do managers in every other workplace display such exorbitant, royal egos? Definitely! Yes! Of course there are always a few exceptions which can be discarded… but in majority of my active findings, adeptly carried out in my short career, I have found that the menacing statement is alarmingly true.  MBA, another hyped abbreviation, righteously acquiring which, an individual develops a false notion to be a leader of some imaginary sorts, directing people in an uncouth manner to obey their orders. For me, a manager has to possess leadership skills to be qualified as a supreme ruler of people. Let’s face it; does an individual become a leader by gaining some management degree? Are leadership qualities inborn or can they be cultivated within a person by preaching astronomical, giddy, management course of countless varieties and quantities? You may debate over the fact that managers do not have to be inborn leaders, but just to harp on my point, if a manager’s sole responsibility is to delegate and oversee the working of a group of people, then I am sure, that very group of people may have some grievances or the other which the manager should be able to cope up with? If there are problems pertaining to the group then how can you confront them if you do not possess any innate qualities of a leader? Real time scenarios are much different than the case studies inscribed in the book, which is when our instincts and superlative abilities kick in. What if the team mocks their leader from behind and has been framed time and again, in full public glare, as a bad leader? Is the individual liable to become a manager?  I am certain without any doubt whatsoever in my mind that everything cannot be taught from a pile of temple churning, baseless, character transforming books. Eventually it all boils down to the individual’s personality and the character traits exhibited.

Some of you still disagree? Well! Stimulate your hemispheres on it for a while! All those economic, promotional, strategists and gurus out there who promote MBA and other higher studies of management as impregnable and the only means of securing a stable high profile job, had to gobble down their own preaching during the occasion, recession had hit the world, big time, the previous year. Why were they hiding then? What happened to their boisterous sermons? Who were the people or high profile entities who lost their jobs? The skeletons were hanging out; adoring the slammed shut, isolated market galleries, with the truth revealed pitiably, right before your eyes! A classic example of bad management campaigned by the worst of managers.

There were times when people did not have the luxury of such extravagant courses, which begs a simple question… How did Narayan Murthy, Dhiru-bhai Ambani, Laxmi Niwas Mittal and a host of other eminent personalities construct such huge empires without receiving any management training? Let me assure you, having read the biographical excerpts, most of them rose from anything but humble or miserable backgrounds. You can disagree and project with evidence that they are exceptional cases but on second thoughts, research on the internet or wherever you find it convenient, how many small scale, private business enterprises setup, after Indian independence have made it into the global league today? The answer would be overwhelming and more than you can imagine. If they would have received such hardcore, illusive training, then I am afraid they would not have been able to function effectively and develop their businesses mighty efficiently, and scale to such enormous proportions, attaining dizzying heights.

Mumbai midday meal transporters, an organization of four thousand five hundred semi-literate dabbawalas, who collect and deliver lunch boxes, picking them up daily from numerous homes and distributing them to offices and repeating the whole process over in the evening by transporting the empty boxes back to the homes from the respective offices, What an ordeal, day-in and day-out, you may think? Feeding over one and a half million people of the city on a strict time bound basis, these meager human lunch carriers are a living example to the MNCs and other big companies who time and again boast about their management skills. The, time efficient, dabbawalas are no managers!!! They do not boast about a management degree, nor do they have any manager, leisurely perched on top of their heads, directing them, to complete their work skillfully and on time? Management studies are an obstacle rather than a boon, pursuing or trying to learn which, an individual develops only hyperbolic, inflated egos, harming their personalities and causing disruption in attitude among people, working under them. This discussion leads me to an imaginary story of office management, a boat race which most of you may have come across at some point or the other in absolute frustration.

The story goes… There was a rowing team nominated and represented by all the people employed in various multinational companies. So, the company rowing team agreed to compete in a boat race annually, who else! Other than the, Mumbai dabbawalas. Each team comprised of eight people. Both teams worked really hard to get in the best of shape with each formulating unique tactics in a bid to outsmart the other. On the day of the race both teams were ready and confident of winning, comfortably. The outcome of the race was that the Mumbai dabbawalas beat the company team by a mile. The mood in the company team was close to freeze point as they could not believe their eyes, mulling over the fact that how could they be beaten by a team of mere lunch transporters? So shredding off their disappointment, the management hired a group of analysts to observe the situation and recommend an appropriate, game changing solution. After detailed analysis and acute observations the analysts discovered that the dabba team had seven rowers and only one captain. Your guess on the company team’s investigation? Well! They had seven captains and one rower! What a contrast to the dabba team! Facing such critical scenario the management of the company team enlightened themselves by showing some unexpected and timely wisdom. They came up with a master plan of hiring the consulting company of analysts to restructure their team and lend some credibility to their vigorous efforts. So after several months of postmortem and high drama the consulting company came to the conclusion that the company team had too many captains and too few rowers. The job of the consulting company was to propose a solution and what a solution did they propose? Yes! The structure of the company team had to be revamped. But, how were they planning to reshuffle the structure and designate proper roles and responsibilities to the individual members? They decided that from now onwards there would be only four captains, two managers, with one manager on top, followed by the single rower!!! Besides proposing this ingenious solution they also suggested to improve the rower’s working environment and provide him excellent training facilities so as to improve his core competency.

The next year the race was held again and this time the company team, with their new, overhauled structure were buoyed and ready to take on the dabbawalas. What do you expect the result of the race to be? The second time around it was no different, except for a slight adjustment in the victory margin. The dabbawalas had won yet again!!! But this time, by two miles. The mood in the company team’s camp was somber as they were heartbroken for the second successive year. The company team immediately expelled the rower, in an effort to make amends for their loss and restore their diminishing pride, but the bonus award was paid to the management for infusing strong motivation, that the team showed during their preparation phase. The consulting company showed their caliber yet again and laid out their outstanding, descriptive analysis in front of the higher management, revealing them, that the strategy was brilliant, the motivation was satisfactory but the used tool i.e. the oar had to be enhanced and the resource should be more experienced and capable of overcoming any hurdles. Currently the company team is designing a new boat, what for? Well! Your guess is as good as mine!

This story depicts what management is and what all steps are necessary to become a good, effective manager! Am I aiming arrows in the dark? Or, Am I projecting the facts with bitter sarcasm? What do you think? Are you ready for your CAT, XLRI…. and the horde of distinguished, career reviving, exams? Everyone wants to be a manager, the shepherd of the flock, of yet another cluster of managers!!! But, a mere, minor question, you need to ask yourself before taking the plunge and letting all hell break loose…Do you really, naturally, have it in you???