Ranjan's Blog

Ranjan's Blog

Saturday, November 27, 2010

The Holy Dip - In a Drain

My life is not an open book. It’s just a dusty Playboy magazine. Hidden under the carpet, I sneak a look into it once in a while. Capturing the breathtaking frames only after my family of pirates is fast asleep.

The kindergarten days: Do you remember them?
I do vividly, for a specific and an extra special reason. It was the first time I had kissed a girl fondly. Fondly!! Woah, oh, oh, oh! What? What are you thinking? By now you must have started fantasizing. I knew it!! Dirty Mind!
I had kissed the curly haired one on her cheek more out of genuine affection than anything else. Hang on!! I remember kissing her, where…? It’s gone a bit blurry. Let me think…. ‘Hmmm…’
‘The blog! Romeo!!’ a voice reminds me, as I write, jolting me from my fantasy.
‘What blog? Don’t disturb!! This is much better.’ I shot back at him. ‘The feeling is divine.’
‘Dip? Drain?’ the voice echoed, dragging me away from the stimulating scene.
‘Diaper?’ I asked myself, absentminded. ‘But, I don’t have any children!!?’
‘Look up!! Idiot!!’ he shouted, slapping me hard.
‘Oh! Yes! Now I remember.’

I had just joined Don Bosco School, Siliguri. “Admission Granted – STD I” was what, was stamped, on top of my charismatic miniature photo; passing a strenuous little exam prior to it. The people alien, I roamed around the campus with my then only friend Arpan Chettri. He was the sole recognizable face when I shifted from my humble kindergarten school to this Richie-rich one. Like two brothers reunited in the lost and found section of the Kumbh-Mela. Arms around each other’s shoulders we wandered singing the Sholay tune.
‘Arpan! Look at this drain.’ I exclaimed, stopping abruptly; we as usual wandered during the break time.
The rainy season at its peak, an unrelenting drizzle characterized the day. Soaking the light rain I stood at the edge of the broad, two-three feet high drain. Gazing and hearing the gurgling sound of water gush away. The extreme force of it flushed down everything and anything that came in its path. Glancing sideways I noticed the other kids frolicking by its side. Some dropped leaves, some paper boats. Others tore up their boats to drop pieces of paper with their names written on it. All competing, racing along the gutter with their individual articles, set afloat. The speed of the current carrying them enabled them to decide the winner.
‘Arpan!!?’ I called out. Turned back and searched in my vicinity but could not find him.
‘He must have gone to the toilet.’ I told myself shrugging; continuing to follow some of the closely fought contests.
‘Splash!!’, ‘Shuh! Shuh! Shuh...’
These were the only sounds I could hear the next moment. The latter without any doubt uttered by me struggling against the tide. The burbling noise of the water entering my ears followed them. Picking my head, out of the water I looked up to find Arpan standing atop. A smile on his face to begin with, he broke out in a laughing fit. I got up on my feet immediately, displacing the cold gutter water on either side of me. Not able to get out of the drain after few tries I stood erect. My feet apart, enduring the cold current. My hairs, white shirt drenched. My light grey half-pants completely soaked, stained to a darker colour. Water slipped through the pockets causing my sensitive areas to become stiff. Shocked, panic-stricken I began forming small cups of water with my tiny palms. He backed off, viewing me throw the drops furiously in his direction, still laughing out loud. Nothing else nearby to inflict my rage on him I resorted to my last option. The helpless child that I was began crying. I sobbed inconsolably for a minute or two. Vowing never to forgive Arpan for his shameless act and never, ever talk to him again, till my last breath. Fortunate to have my two cousins studying in the higher grade of the same school I saw them rushing towards me. Grabbing their hands I pulled myself out of it, grazing both my knees in the process on the rugged concrete. One held my legs, the other my arms. My face skywards I forced it down, searching left and right. But Arpan was nowhere to be seen. I assumed, him to have run away seeing my cousins, probably scared of being beaten. Stretching me they both transported me to the assembly hall. The principal came running thereafter. Consoling me he offered me a Hawaiian shirt and a black pant. A unique, stinky smell came out of them. No other option I wore it; to be the odd one out in the whole class for the rest of the day. I had instantly become the center of attraction for no deed of mine. They giggled staring at me, others cracked jokes. Alienated, I glanced at Arpan menacingly but he sensibly looked away.

++++

‘Maa!! Where is Arpan?’ I asked my mother coming back from school one day. It had been close to ten days since I had seen Arpan.
‘I don’t know. Why? Don’t you meet him in school?’ she asked.
‘No.’ I replied in short refraining to divulge further details; specifically my gesture of avoiding him consciously.
‘I also did not see his mother for few days….’ she stated, pondering. A frown developed on her face. Homes close-by, our mothers often ran into each other in their favourite grocery shop.
‘Leave it!! He will come soon… may be.’ I said shrugging, reluctant to entertain the thought of a rogue Arpan at length.
‘No, no!! Let’s go this Saturday evening and check what the matter is!’ she proclaimed, forcing me, shaking her head vigorously.
‘But why? What is the need?’ I cried out, opposing her decision in the strongest of tones.
‘Fine! You don’t go. I will.’ she said. Turning back she walked swiftly into the kitchen, seething.

++++

It was Saturday evening. Although I had protested, I did not want to stay alone in the house and be haunted. Lollipop, the award I trudged along with her to reach Arpan’s house. Burdened by a sense of guilt; not having spoken to my once close friend for that many days.
‘Don’t be naughty. Don’t play for too long. We have to go early and don’t ask for anything to eat.’ my strict mother issued me a host of warnings, ringing the bell.
‘Oh! Ranzzaan! Come! Namahste!’ she greeted both of us.
Entering, my eyes immediately began searching for Arpan. My heart thumping fast I was wary of how to start a conversation with him.
‘Nomoste, Nomoste! How are you? I…’ my mother greeted back.
‘Where is Arpan, aunty?’ I inquired, interrupting. Looking at her, I prayed that he be somewhere far-away from his house, playing.
‘He is inside. Go in that room.’ she replied, pointing. A purdah (separation cloth) hung, did not permit me to peep inside from a distance.
The dreadful answer received I went up to the room, leaving both of them behind. I moved the cloth aside and peeped into the room.
‘Don’t ask me…’
I could hear Arpan’s mother talking to mine.
‘He is sick for the past…’
‘Sick!!?’ baffled, I asked myself. Overhearing, I stood quietly at the door-sill.
Arpan lay there on the bed. His face turned in the opposite direction. His body covered with a brown quilt up-to the neck. Panic-struck, I turned around and exited the room. Afraid that Arpan would get up and start blaming me for his illness.
‘Go, inside! He is there.’ his mother urged. ‘He was taking your name in sleep for the past few days.’ she said, increasing my anxiety to abnormal levels.
‘Why?’ my mother inquired, smiling.
‘I don’t know. He was in his sleep.’
Caught in no man’s land I about-turned and entered the room, again. Arpan had twisted his face in my direction. His heavy, sleepy eyes marginally open; he gazed at me from the distance. The nervous I took out the second lollipop from my pocket. Holding it in my hand like a bouquet I moved towards him, taking measured steps. The wrapper on it served as the ‘Get Well Soon’ greeting card. Hoping that my gift would please him and more importantly he would not complain to my and his mother.
‘Here, take!’ I offered him. My voice wavered as I stopped close to him, by the bed.
Pulling his hand out of his cozy cover he grasped the stick.
‘What happened to your eyes and your nails…?’
Dismayed and perplexed I questioned him examining his nails and eyes closely. Pale yellow in colour they seemed to be a unique, eye popping occurrence to me. One, I had never ever encountered in my short life span.
‘Are you still angry?’ he queried in a stifled voice. I noticed; his face too had turned pale yellow.
Not knowing what to say I simply stared at him. Mixed emotions ran through me. I was not able to determine whether his mistake was greater, or mine was.
‘Forgive me, Ranjan. I made a mistake. I am sorry.’ he said, repeating one of our moral science lines recently taught in school. A tear drop streamed down from the corner of his eye.
‘I am sorry as well… for not talking to you.’ I uttered, clearing my throat.
‘Are we still friends? I don’t have anyone else to talk to in school.’ he asked, reasoning innocently.
‘Yes I am. I will talk to you.’ I assured him. ‘Eat the lollipop. It’s tasty. Tut… tut!!’ I told him, emitting sounds from my mouth.
‘Don’t eat that!’ her mother screamed from behind. She came into the room with my mother.
‘See!! The chap is suffering from jaundice and he wants to eat chocolates.’ she admonished Arpan. Frightened I backed off allowing his mother to sit at his side.
‘But mom, Ranjan brought it for me!!’ he begged.
‘Eat it later. You are not well now, no.’ she said stroking his forehead. Snatching the candy from his hands she kept it away from him.
‘I am feeling better now. Give it to me!!!’ he cried out in a shrill voice.
‘Eat it later, Arpan. It doesn’t matter.’ I said trying to calm him down.
‘Look! Listen, to what your friend is saying.’ her mother told, winking at me.
A wink: The meaning of which I understood later in my life; courtesy my mother. Five years down the line, I was in the same school, I played near the same drain, it was the same me. But Arpan, my friend was far, far away…

Thank-you all for reading; until next time, the moti-bhaddi aurat (fat-ugly lady) sings. It’s BYE!!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

The Renunciation

‘I don’t want to leave this place, Ram! This is my birthplace. I just want to live here peacefully.’ I cried out, storming into the safe confines of the kitchen.
Expressing my revolt over the conversations going on outside, I slammed the heavy silver tray on the wooden table. The thunderous sound of it echoed in the large room, making us close our eyes momentarily. Eventually, the clattering noise subsided to enable us to restart.
‘Who is asking you to go? And Why?’ Ram asked, subsequently, in a perplexed tone.
‘I just heard them talk about some sort of separation.’ I stated, pointing towards the courtyard.
‘Here deliver the tea first. Come back. We will then talk over it calmly.’ Ram said politely. In an assuring manner, willing to hear my grievances the moment I returned.
I picked up the utensils one by one and placed them carefully on the tray. Two kettles, one filled with liqueur tea and the other containing hot milk. Three pairs of cup-saucer and a small bowl of sugar, filled to the brim. All articles splendidly designed and made out of glossy china clay. I gave the finishing touches by intricately arranging three white cloth napkins at the empty side. Folding them diagonally and setting a silver spoon on top of each one. Finally, placing an extra spoon at the side of the sugar bowl I completed the royal job. Etiquette learnt from my father, having seen him perform several times since I was a child.
‘What presentation!!? You have mastered it, Mian (Gentleman)! Bahut acche (Very good)!’ Ram exclaimed, attempting to cheer me up.
I glanced at him menacingly. Adjusted my pagdi (headgear) and set forth for my destination. Cautiously holding the tray close to my chest, I entered the courtyard. The voices grew louder and stronger as I approached them with nimble feet and eyes fixed on the finely cut grass below.

‘You realize, Mr. Jinnah, what you are just about to do?’ I heard Mr. Mountbatten’s stern voice. ‘The Congress would never agree to this.’
‘I am not worried about anyone else except the welfare of the Muslim people.’ Mr. Jinnah replied in a firm voice.
‘What would you do, if you were in my place? Mr. Jinnah!!’ Mr. Mountbatten asked aggressively, constricting his eyes.
‘I would have given Muslims Pakistan, by now.’ he uttered bluntly.
‘Pakistan? Has this man gone mad!! Isn’t Hindustan for all?’ I told myself placing the tray on the table, beside Mistress Edwina.
‘If India has to be divided into India and Pakistan, the same principle would apply to Bengal and Punjab.’ the Lord remarked promptly.
‘I will have my say when the time comes.’ he responded in an authoritative tone.
‘You are doing all this just for power, isn’t it?’ Mrs. Edwina Mountbatten asked raising her eyebrows.
She signaled me to leave, simultaneously, desiring to serve them with her own hands. I turned around and scampered back to stop at a distance near the courtyard entrance. I stood there like a robot, frowning humanely. With eyes fixed to the ground, unmoved most of the time, awaiting their next order. The restlessness and anger seethed inside me, hearing their divisive political conversations.
‘You realize, Mr. Jinnah, that this will cost you dear,’ the viceroy warned. ‘It will cost you the future of Pakistan, everything! You won't have a wooden table or chair in an office in your Pakistan. Or the money to buy an olive green army water bottle.’ he spoke out explicitly showing his contempt. His wife looked on at his face with dismay.
Mr. Jinnah chose to remain quiet, clearly perceiving the meaning behind the viceroy’s words. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, in an attempt to gauge his response. But the expression on his face suggested that he was in no mood to share the pie with anyone.
‘My people, the Muslim League has chosen me. Not you!’ he stated emphatically, sipping his tea.
‘You seem to be adamant. Just think over it for once. Don’t force anything for which you may have to repent in the future.’ Mr. Mountbatten advised, escorting him slowly to the main door.

I picked up the crockery and walked back hastily towards my designated zone. Dejected and surprised over the uncertain future of the country and my life.
‘What is the matter Bilal? You look disturbed.’ Ram asked in a concerned voice.
‘I don’t believe this. I just can’t believe this!!’ I uttered.
‘What has happened? Tell me? Is everything fine in Lahore?’ he inquired in a panic-stricken voice.
‘They are dividing this country, just for the sake of power and to satisfy their self-esteem.’ I declared.
‘Who is dividing it? How is it possible?’ he asked frowning.
‘Mr.Jinnah! He wants to create a new country for himself called Pakistan!’ I announced, removing the pagdi from my head. ‘And Mr. Mountbatten will create it by dividing Punjab and Bengal.’
‘Whatever is happening is not correct. But how can we stop them?’ he questioned throwing his hands up in the air. ‘I know they have the people’s support and have charged up their ignorance politically.’ I said.
‘Don’t you hear every day? News of trains carrying slaughtered bodies of Hindu’s or Muslim’s from different parts of the country?’ he said demanding an answer from me.
‘I know that Ram. But… what if the country gets divided? What should I do?’ I asked, hesitantly. A silent prayer to God followed for not allowing the day and my apprehensions to come true.
‘What do you do? Meaning? You have your family here. So we will stay here together like we do today.’ Ram spoke out, giving me a wary look. I sensed an unknown fear in his tone.
‘But my relatives and loved ones are in Lahore… How can I leave them? I… I have to take care of them as well!’ I stammered. A cold sweat developed on my palms making me ponder about their welfare.
‘Why don’t you ask them to come over here as soon as possible?’ Ram said figuring out an answer instantly.
‘No Ram! You just told me the news of the trains. It’s impossible now.’ I responded.
It was evident from Ram’s face that he had no solution to my problem. The realization that our strong bond of friendship and brotherhood would one day be destroyed and torn apart, had hit us hard. It was the first time when we eyed each other as a Hindu and a Muslim. I had no option but to follow suit. We remained silent, waiting helplessly for the political catastrophe to separate us.

‘Pakistan!! What is this nonsense called Pakistan?’ Mr. Nehru shouted.
I stood there at a distance from the table, staring down at the grass in the lawn.
‘You aspire to become the Prime Minister of this country. Don’t you?’ Mr. Mountbatten inquired in a mocking tone.
‘Yes! But…’
‘You must be Prime Minister of India. Giving away Pakistan is the only way... Don't start wavering now.’ he cautioned.
I spotted Mr. Nehru deep in thought. His agitated gait conveyed me that he was steadily giving in to the viceroy’s persuasion. ‘But how does he intend to form Pakistan?’ he inquired.
‘That is up to me to decide.’ the Lord declared beaming. ‘Half of Punjab and Bengal and the whole of Sind along with the North-West Frontier Province will become Pakistan.’
‘I cannot allow a man from the Muslim league to become the Prime Minister of this country. If that is what he wants let him have it.’ he said succumbing to his own pressure.
‘I will bring the date of the Partition closer and would want to leave as quickly as possible. Pakistan will have to scramble against itself, really!!’ he said demonstrating his ascendency.
‘Who will decide our borders?’ Mr. Nehru inquired in a baffled tone.
‘I have made preparations for that. A committee headed by Sir Cyril Radcliffe will be performing that job.’ he replied readily.
‘Do you have a date in mind?’ the, to be Prime Minister of India asked in a worried tone.
‘Huh? Errr… Fifteenth August next month!’ he said hurriedly.
‘How can he fix so casually? It is an important decision and he gave it so randomly and easily!!’ I wondered.
‘That early? How is it possible?’ Mr. Nehru asked, echoing my sentiments, hearing his prompt answer.
‘A civil war is staring at us in the face. What else can we do? We will speed up the process. It can be done in no time.’ Mr. Mountbatten assured.

A month was all that I had to pack up my belongings and vacate India. The feeling of leaving my friends and dear ones caused an overwhelming grief to rise in me.
‘Will I get such a respectable job there? Will the Pakistan I will be residing in be as good as my India?’ my mind was inundated with numerous such questions. I had no answer to any one of them. Only time would tell.
I came inside shortly after Mr. Nehru’s departure. Met Ram in the kitchen as usual. Our gossips and hours of jovial talks had been reduced to a mere formal greeting. On entering the room it I passed a cold look meeting his eye.
‘The date has been decided.’ I said in a depressing tone.
‘So? When are you leaving? Bilal Mian!!’ he asked with a careless attitude.
‘On fourteenth august Pakistan will be formed. Fifteenth India will get freedom.’ I informed him ignoring his taunt.
‘Fifteenth! But that’s Friday! They did not consult the astrologers?’ the Pandit (Hindu scholar) in him sprang up.
‘Why what’s the problem?’ I inquired, confused.
‘Tch… Tch… Tch… It’s a very bad day!’ he remarked.
‘Yes! I heard it too from some of the astrologers. But what’s so bad about it?’
‘Rather than accept it, the people of India should accept British rule. Under the calculations, August fifteenth is lying under the Zodiac sign for Capricorn. This sign is known for its hostility to all centrifugal, pulling-apart, forces. Therefore, it is the worst possible day to do a partition. And on that day, India would be passing through the influence of Saturn, a very unlucky and unfriendly planet.’ he stated, relaying the predictions done by the other astrologers, scrutinizing and cursing the day endlessly.

A month flew past in no time. It was time to go. The strong desire for power had separated my soul from the loved ones. I didn’t know what was in store for me in the unknown land of Pakistan. I bid goodbye to every one of my community except Ram. It was a moment not to remember, but certainly to die for. I marched towards the obscure border with my family not knowing the hazards of crossing it.

‘Oh! God! Where am I? Allow me to stay here….’ I said slowly closing my eyes, clutching the ground on either side of me. A hazy figure moved around me, finally wielding it’s sharp power on my neck… ‘Hey...’

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Racing With The Dead


‘Life is a race. If you do not compete you will be like broken egghs!!!’ Notable lines which I am sure we all remember, being uttered by VIRUS in the film ‘Three Idiots’. But it seems that many people in India have been following the literal meaning of it from generations. Why am I saying so? In what context...? Bear with me for a minute; we will get there pretty soon!

Riding on my friend, Milind’s bike; covering a distance of twenty kilometers back and forth on the bumpy roads, five days a week, to reach our office does take a toll on my body. Our spinal cords, predictably and irreversibly are slowly being deformed. I do not know about him but as far as my prophecy goes, I do visualize myself stooped, groping and walking with a stick in hand. A frightening thought, I beseech to God, to not allow it to come true. That’s not all! The adventure of eluding domestic and wild animals, rapidly moving erratic vehicles taking moody turns whenever they feel like thereby choking up the traffic periodically only flares up my existing aggravated distemper.

‘I am so fed up of all this man!’ Milind remarked stopping his bike at an entrance of a narrow street in Mundwa.
It was a typical traffic bottleneck one which we were familiar with, traversing the route on an everyday basis. I shifted my position within the limited space available in an effort to release some of the pain soaring up my spine from the squeezed tail bone.
‘Look behind! Is there any space to take a U-turn?’ he asked raising his helmet screen.
I strained my neck to look behind as directed and expectantly discovered a long snarl of vehicles littered all over the street.
‘Nope! No chance!’ I uttered. My voice suppressed because of the horns that blared.
We normally do take a detour, on finding the street choked up from a distance. But at that moment, a voice told me from within, “It’s a special day”. So, with no space to move backwards, we stuck around hoping for the situation to improve.
‘But for how long should we remain stagnant? Build a camp by the side and wait for the mess to clear up? Even there is no space for a camp!!’ I told myself as we were getting late for office.
The stalemate eventually ended with Milind showing his driving skills to find the smallest of openings between the obstacles and free us from the morning traffic ordeal. The race was on from that point onwards. We were already twenty minutes late because of someone else’s fault and we had to make up for it now.
‘Don’t increase the speed. Let it be late! I don’t want to land up in a hospital, early morning, bed-ridden for six months!’ I thought.
As I was about to express the same sentiments to my biker, he did the unthinkable. Milind increased the speed near the Kalyani Nagar turning in a bid to overtake a car, causing my heart to palpitate even more violently.
‘Oh God! No hospital! Better to die instantly than be in hospital!’ I prayed.
Milind safely overtook the car, though, halting at the signal near a bridge leading to Yerwada where our office is located. I stopped praying, for the time being, to change positions and relieve some of the pain originating from my tail bone.
The signal flashed green, enabling us to start our hasty journey, over again.
‘Smoke?’ he inquired.
‘Yeah! Let’s stop near the corner.’ I said.
I knew very well that we were late but ‘What’s the big deal if we are late by another ten minutes.’ I thought. ‘Completing work within the required deadline is important not the time we take, to reach office!!!’ I exclaimed deep down in annoyance thinking about the stringent policies.
We puffed our cigarettes calmly, to their butt, stubbing them out, the moment no smoke came out, from it and our lungs.
We sat on our respective positions on the bike to speed away one last time in the direction of our office.
Milind stopped the bike with a sudden jerk as we were approaching the Yerwada road, letting out a renowned cry. ‘Thok Diya!! (Banged it!!)’
I peered from the side of his head to view the ill famed scene.
‘Special! I knew it!’ I exhaled. But what followed was even more spectacular.
A cabbie, traveling at a fairly low speed had just touched the rear end of a bike causing it to wobble a bit on the road. Two decent, well dressed, probably educated youths were on the bike. I had seen them earlier that day maneuvering their vehicle and overtaking us and others at a high, rash speed.
‘Come out! Bastard!’ they both parked their bike in the middle of the road, in front of the Tata Indica and signaled the driver to come out of the car. Like two trained hoods.
‘Your father will come and fix this! Rascal!’ one of them shouted.
‘Sir! It’s just a minor scratch.’ the cab driver said politely and asked them to move their motorcycle.
I could clearly perceive the anguish in the cabbie’s mind as the two men approached his window.
‘Pull him out!’ they yelled.
The two seized the man by his collar and dragged his body through the window. Not allowing him ample time to open the door, let alone having a modest conversation. By now the horror on the cab driver’s face was evident.
‘Stop! Stop! What are you doing?’ the man cried.
The man fell with a thud on the road. The two youths then commenced their assault. Kicking him, on his stomach, his head, stamping on his hands intentionally as the man tried to save his body parts, wailing continuously in pain. Few people, who had already gathered around, tried to separate the rowdy youths from the cabbie, but in vain. As he was just being assisted by the people around to get up on his feet, the two caught him by the collar again. Now, they started hurling and depositing slap after slap in the direction of his face and ears. All the man could do was, hide his face behind both hands, folded on it. Trying to resist their thrashing and unruly behavior. Finally they were separated by the group gathered. The two youths sat on their bike and fled the scene immediately, probably fearing a police case or something. The face of the cab driver resembled a humiliated look. He was bleeding from the corner of his right eye with red and blue patches on his face, sobbing inconsolably. Some asked him to go to the hospital but he shrugged his shoulders and trudged back to his car. He sat inside and cried quietly for a minute, rubbing his eyes with his fingers, struggling hard to compose himself. He then ignited the engine of his car and fled away from the area shamefacedly.
I was close to tears viewing the whole incident from a distance and I am sure Milind must have felt the same.
‘No! Life is not a race!!’ I told myself. ‘But why do we have to behave like broken eggs!!’
‘Are we dead? Or have our consciences become extinct?’ I asked as we finally reached office.
‘Am I traveling with dead people around me?’ the questions started flooding my mind.
We remained quiet for some time. I, because of the trauma of it, enacted again and again before my eyes. We met at four over our daily dose of cigarettes and tea, recollecting the incident and venting our anger in the form of distinct curses and abuses.
To err is human but to beat him is insane, unpardonable and absolutely does not belong to this world.
Why do we behave like beasts sometimes? Are we really humans or animals disguised in the body of humans? Who has given us the right to hit anyone? Can’t a conversation solve a problem?
I am sure most of you might have encountered such ugly incidents while wading your way through traffic in Indian cities. I am tired of blaming the government or the administration, now. Justice can be done, following other unique ways as well. Let’s try and adopt them and make our India a better, more endurable place to live in.

A gross, inhumane episode, which I know is not the last one I have seen, but one which will always be forever etched in my memory. I hope, the corpses rise up from their death sleep and instill life in their souls again…

Saturday, August 14, 2010

My Re-Discovery of India


Childhood is that wonderful time of life, when all you need to do, to lose weight, is take a bath. Our minds and hearts are filled with nostalgia when we remember our carefree childhood days. Playing around like nomads, roaming like a group of orphans from one playground to the other, trying out new unimaginable ideas and morally banned substances, imbibing and uttering, memorized, newly learnt abuses at each other without any prior knowledge or understanding of them and a horde of diverse, comical actions to accompany all of these. Amidst all this frolic and madness, the mere thought of returning to our homes would clog our hearts with unbearable pain of having to deal with the mental strain of mugging up the significant lessons published, mercilessly in the pile of drowsy books, causing us to become sleepy-headed immediately.

My days, of being a child were no different. A small incident which occurred when I was a ten year old boy enabled me to take an unprecedented turn in my life. Now, after analyzing myself all these years, I can firmly say that it was ‘The Turning Point’ which propelled me to drift away with the pensive current into ‘No Child’s Land’. I still get goose bumps when I vividly remember that day… I left my house early morning, as usual, to board my school bus which had it’s nominated stop at a distance of approximately one and a half kilometers from my house. The coldness of the morning air made my legs, exposed downwards from the knee, jitter, as I walked lethargically towards the bus stand. Midway through my early morning trudge, overlooking my shoulder I saw an unsusceptible man jutting his head out of the window from an advancing bus, moving speedily in my direction. Concerned, I hastily stepped aside on the pavement leaving the entire roadway vacant to allow the accelerating vehicle pass soundly from a considerable distance. The bus whizzed past me making my hair flutter as I shuddered violently to confront the spine-chilling blast of air generated and displaced by it’s speedy movement.
“See and walk you idiot!!!” the man whose head was protruding from the window shouted at me as the vehicle sped away disappearing into the early morning dense fog.
“Why did this guy call me an idiot?” I thought, not able to make any sense out of his curse, aimed specifically at me.
Suddenly a gust of cold air blew over, trembling me further causing the right side of my face, from where the bus had raced past, feel cooler than the left side.
“What’s the problem? Did I develop any abnormality?” I pondered as I touched the left cheek which I perceived, was absolutely fine.
Then I felt the right side, I was aghast to sense a slimy, foul smelling fluid smothering the right part of my face, gently streaming down from the side, just below the eye line in the direction of my chin.
“What on earth could this be?” I wondered, cautiously placing my right index finger on my cheek, groping, subsequently sniffing the fluid.
The realization of it eventually struck in me, the moment I made an effort unknowingly to inhale the filthy liquid… Yes! By now you should have guessed it!! The slimy fluid was nothing else but saliva splattered all over, at one side of my face. I demanded the man and the moment back from God so that I could thrash him to my satisfaction but later when I recalled the incident, leisurely, I realized that it was not such a good idea. The saliva in the meantime had reached the end of my chin, ready to start dripping at any point of time.
“I have to act quickly!! But how will I clean it?” I asked myself as my mind was occupied with the dilemma of cleansing it and getting rid of the repelling smell off my face.
I did not possess a water bottle because of my own silly fault, no handkerchief either, and I did not want to wipe off the sickening secretion using my school shirt, scared of the mocks my friends would articulate, when they would discover the offensive, stinking odor emanating out of my shirt.
“Is this what you call freedom?” I questioned the man in my mind. I still do not know, even after so many years, from where did this question or even the actions that I was just about to perform, flashed within me, being a small boy of ten that I was.
The words of my maternal grandfather, who was a passionate freedom fighter in his early years, later studied to become a benevolent doctor, resurfaced in me, providing an appropriate solution, thus rescuing me from the disgraceful position.
“Son!! Always remember, our soil is our mother, just as you love your mother, love and respect your motherland the same way. She will always come to your rescue!” my grandfather had once enlightened me when I was a small boy, perched on his dispensary table.
“Yes! The soil, it will rescue me!!” I said to myself delightfully and innocently picking up a handful and rubbing it over the spit.
The soil absorbed the saliva as it fell down to the ground in bits, rendering my face clean, emitting an endurable fragrance replacing my previously battered face. The transformation in me was evident from that moment onwards as I quietly embarked on a journey of my own which was to rediscover India, desiring to know her through my own eyes.

I started reading Jawaharlal Nehru’s book “The Discovery of India” after this incident, which, by the way is the first book that I have read, completing it at a tender age of eleven. But considering my age and power of understanding at that time, I was unable to grasp the intentions relating to the sequence of outrageous events with which the book had been written by Dr. Nehru. Few years down the line when I came across the dramatization of it in ‘Bharat Ek Khoj’ broadcasted by Doordarshan, the haziness cleared away presenting an evident picture of the horrific tales, frame by frame. Hindustan as it was earlier known, was always a land to conquer, from the Dravidians and Aryans to the British, it has constantly been raided and conquered by inhabitants storming from the north, despite the natural barriers provided by the Himalayas, vying for it’s rich and productive soil.
The widely acclaimed feature film ‘Gandhi’ was more of an eye-opener for me in many ways than a film depicting Mahatma Gandhi’s life. The Jallianwala Bagh massacre, the 1947 butchering of millions when India and Pakistan were crowned to be two separate sovereign states, dented my mind irreparably as I imagined my soul to be amongst those inhumanely acts of shame and disgrace. Looking back, glancing at the chapters of Indian History books that I studied during my school days, I could not find a single one to my liking where such cruel, barbarous acts were scripted at length, let alone the thought of penning a whole book on those gruesome days and times. Even to this day I cannot find one book on 1947 violent mass killings, made available in any school curriculum. What will our future generations learn? Freedom to us came at a cost!!! It just did not fall all by itself from the sky or heavens above!!! If our future generations do not learn how and at what cost India gained her freedom, our mother is bound to be vandalized again and again!

The land of Mauryas, Magadhas, Chalukyas, Guptas, Cholas, Pandyas, snake charmers, elephants… have given way to a land of famished beggars, perverts and money ravenous traitors. Did our ancestors win us freedom to visualize our ‘Bharat Mata’ in such pathetic state?
Does freedom mean spitting just about anywhere and everywhere? Does freedom mean, engaging in, corruption, eve-teasing, communal riots disrupting the harmony between states over trivial matters, burgling, playing petty politics with peoples life and money?
All of us want to be in a world of our own, enjoying life to the extreme. When an opportunity comes we all casually abandon our motherland and proceed to settle down in a foreign territory adopting an alien culture leaving our mother at the hands of hungry hyenas and jackals who keep scrapping her bit by bit, feasting on her, making her hollow from inside. The mother always feeds and shelters us throughout our whole life, and is this the way to repay for her unselfish deeds?
For generations our mother has been humiliated and most of us have stood beside her, watching calmly the dishonor caused by many of her and other extraneous people, how much more pain and suffering can she bear?
Why do we have to celebrate our independence on 15th August? Why can’t we celebrate it every day? Why can’t we remind ourselves every single day that this is not the freedom that our freedom fighters had dreamt of, for them freedom meant driving away the British, thereby allowing their own people to live in peace and harmony, but did we manage to fulfill their aspirations? Rhetorical isn’t it? The answer well known!!!
Independence for us has acquired a different meaning all together, forcefully believing it to be a fundamental right of behaving in whatever way we desire, doing whatever we feel like and above all disregarding our mother and poverty stricken countrymen.

Yes probably by now our honorable prime minister may have hoisted the flag and delivered his Independence Day speech and some of us may have heard or slept over it, but does it serve the purpose? Even the flag hoisting takes place at a monument built by our invaders!!! Why can’t you celebrate the day in every other village… nominating one, in turns, each year???
‘Look around sir!!! We still have the same problems and difficulties which seem to have existed in our country for ages…’
‘How do you plan to eradicate them?’ if you ask, then probably another speech will be ready at his finger tips to be delivered and silenced.
‘Which is the first and foremost conundrum that you plan to work upon?’ if someone asks again, then I don’t think you will get an answer, because of the enormity of them. They leave behind internal matters and issues and roam the world for most of the five years term dealing with so called external matters and return back at the end of it to beg for votes.
Here is my question to you… How do we salvage the lost pride and glory of our mother?
As far as I am concerned we need to salvage her one at a time… taking up education and literacy at the forefront, in an utmost priority. Start it from your home, your own society…. We need to educate people and the future generations about her glorious past, the lives sacrificed in order to set her free…I know some people who have dedicated and still are in the process of laying their lives for our country; we need to join hands and extend our strong support towards them. My rediscovery and redemption of my mother, though carries on and will carry on till my last breath….

When the British administration led by Lord Curzon in 1905 ordered that Bengal must be partitioned into East and West Bengal, Rabindranath Tagore cried out to his countrymen by writing this song… translated in English by me… which I hope conveys my sentiments, paying a tribute to my mother…

‘O’ my mother, I bow down to your holy soil,
……
O’ my mother I sleep in your lap and will die here too,
…….
You have always fed me and given me everything, my mother,
But I cannot recollect anything that I have given back to you.
I have wasted my life in doing useless work,
But you have given me all the strength I needed, O’ my mother,
……..
O’ my mother, I bow down to thee.’


‘I have come with much expectation my dear mother; please call me near you,
Please do not return me empty handed, O’ my mother.
……….
No one loves the needy and the poor,
But I know you will nurture them,
………..
I do not need anything else, but to call you my “mother”,
I do not need anything else, but to lay beneath your foot,
If you will not nurture me then who else will care for me?
If you will not nurture me then where do I go sobbing?
……….
I have come with much expectation my dear mother; please call me near you,
Please do not return me empty handed, O’ my mother.’

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Fire Your Manager

While pursuing my Bachelor’s degree in Information Technology in a college situated at a remote, obscure village in Maharashtra, India, I underwent a tense period in my life, mulling round the clock about my destiny, vividly desiring and guessing, what my ultimate software job would be? Will some software company employ me? What happens if I am not able to procure a decent job in a reputed software firm? How cool will it be to work in an MNC, with the I.D dangling in front, suspended from the ribbon gracing my neck? Will I manage to sneak into one of those posh buildings where most of the MNCs seem to function? I am certain that these fancy yet fundamental questions would have crossed your mind, regardless of whichever, inferior or superior institution you have graduated from or are in the monotonous grind of achieving the requisite merit.

The curiosity and apprehensions were infinite as my mind periodically oscillated from the heap of physical objects, consisting of a large number of pages bound together, and the bitter, harsh reality surrounding me, into the more charming, lustrous, unchartered territories. Eventually I managed to complete my degree within the stipulated time of four long-drawn years, allowing me to migrate from the overpowering, foul-smelling rural atmosphere, polluted by the constant emission of harmful gases released from the sugar cane factory, to the more urban, jazzy part of the world. Pune was my new destination and it was here that I got my first break after some expected hassle as a software developer in a reasonably noted, well!!! But not so lavish MNC. At first sight it looked to me like a secret society closely guarded and run by priory of sion, or in simple terms obnoxious, hostile managers. Even before I punched down my first lines of code, I could clearly perceive the strange exercise of fascism, annihilating the dazed spirits within. The uncanny environment made me instantly recollect a famous quote of William Shakespeare from the Merchant of Venice play “All that glisters is not gold!”. You cannot judge the heart of a girl from the beauty in her face; a bare fact coined by W.B Yeats in his poem “A Prayer for My Daughter” which holds true in these pretentious times and was sincerely, genuine in my case as well. Do all managers behave in such imperial way? I asked myself viewing the royal tyranny with which the managers in my company portrayed themselves. Some say “There is always a first time!”, Yes! This was the first time in my life that I had been exposed to such arbitrary, authoritative managers who would wield to find inconceivable ways to get there work done.
“All right!!! The corporate ragging is about to commence, be prepared for the mind-boggling agitation.” I warned myself after getting a hang of the professional atmosphere.
Thankfully by God’s grace I defied much of the torments, though few nominal ones are still left to be eluded, but at least for the time-being, the trauma, the mental, and physically exhaustive period is over. Subsequently, weathering the storm, I began wondering about the necessity and implications of yielding managers, who according to me are an ignominious, dispensable by-product of management. I patted my back in my mind, congratulating myself triumphantly for not taking the leap in management studies, which would have been a sheer, outright waste of time and my father’s laboriously earned money.
“These guys haven’t even completed a management course! What would have been their temperament had they done one? What? Which management book it is? How to become a management geek in twenty-one days? I bet another book will come out shortly, bragging over the title, how to become a nerdy manager in seven, straight days!!! Just reading a few, so called management strategy books, written by equally demented authors and you tag yourself as a manager?” I asked myself sniffing the sorry state of impractical self-learning theories adopted by our employed clergymen, to which most of us had meekly succumbed and fallen prey to!!!

I strained my neurons extensively, in an effort to dwell on much publicized management hysteria, as several basic queries cropped in my mind one of which is, how would you define a manager? A person responsible for getting people together, to accomplish the desired goals and objectives… that is what the bookish definition states. In most of the cases or companies for that matter the “accomplish” word is replaced by “dictate”, a false doctrine adopted by present, profane managers. I have asked myself several times “Do managers in every other workplace display such exorbitant, royal egos? Definitely! Yes! Of course there are always a few exceptions which can be discarded… but in majority of my active findings, adeptly carried out in my short career, I have found that the menacing statement is alarmingly true.  MBA, another hyped abbreviation, righteously acquiring which, an individual develops a false notion to be a leader of some imaginary sorts, directing people in an uncouth manner to obey their orders. For me, a manager has to possess leadership skills to be qualified as a supreme ruler of people. Let’s face it; does an individual become a leader by gaining some management degree? Are leadership qualities inborn or can they be cultivated within a person by preaching astronomical, giddy, management course of countless varieties and quantities? You may debate over the fact that managers do not have to be inborn leaders, but just to harp on my point, if a manager’s sole responsibility is to delegate and oversee the working of a group of people, then I am sure, that very group of people may have some grievances or the other which the manager should be able to cope up with? If there are problems pertaining to the group then how can you confront them if you do not possess any innate qualities of a leader? Real time scenarios are much different than the case studies inscribed in the book, which is when our instincts and superlative abilities kick in. What if the team mocks their leader from behind and has been framed time and again, in full public glare, as a bad leader? Is the individual liable to become a manager?  I am certain without any doubt whatsoever in my mind that everything cannot be taught from a pile of temple churning, baseless, character transforming books. Eventually it all boils down to the individual’s personality and the character traits exhibited.

Some of you still disagree? Well! Stimulate your hemispheres on it for a while! All those economic, promotional, strategists and gurus out there who promote MBA and other higher studies of management as impregnable and the only means of securing a stable high profile job, had to gobble down their own preaching during the occasion, recession had hit the world, big time, the previous year. Why were they hiding then? What happened to their boisterous sermons? Who were the people or high profile entities who lost their jobs? The skeletons were hanging out; adoring the slammed shut, isolated market galleries, with the truth revealed pitiably, right before your eyes! A classic example of bad management campaigned by the worst of managers.
There were times when people did not have the luxury of such extravagant courses, which begs a simple question… How did Narayan Murthy, Dhiru-bhai Ambani, Laxmi Niwas Mittal and a host of other eminent personalities construct such huge empires without receiving any management training? Let me assure you, having read the biographical excerpts, most of them rose from anything but humble or miserable backgrounds. You can disagree and project with evidence that they are exceptional cases but on second thoughts, research on the internet or wherever you find it convenient, how many small scale, private business enterprises setup, after Indian independence have made it into the global league today? The answer would be overwhelming and more than you can imagine. If they would have received such hardcore, illusive training, then I am afraid they would not have been able to function effectively and develop their businesses mighty efficiently, and scale to such enormous proportions, attaining dizzying heights.

Mumbai midday meal transporters, an organization of four thousand five hundred semi-literate dabbawalas, who collect and deliver lunch boxes, picking them up daily from numerous homes and distributing them to offices and repeating the whole process over in the evening by transporting the empty boxes back to the homes from the respective offices, What an ordeal, day-in and day-out, you may think? Feeding over one and a half million people of the city on a strict time bound basis, these meager human lunch carriers are a living example to the MNCs and other big companies who time and again boast about their management skills. The, time efficient, dabbawalas are no managers!!! They do not boast about a management degree, nor do they have any manager, leisurely perched on top of their heads, directing them, to complete their work skillfully and on time? Management studies are an obstacle rather than a boon, pursuing or trying to learn which, an individual develops only hyperbolic, inflated egos, harming their personalities and causing disruption in attitude among people, working under them. This discussion leads me to an imaginary story of office management, a boat race which most of you may have come across at some point or the other in absolute frustration.

The story goes… There was a rowing team nominated and represented by all the people employed in various multinational companies. So, the company rowing team agreed to compete in a boat race annually, who else! Other than the, Mumbai dabbawalas. Each team comprised of eight people. Both teams worked really hard to get in the best of shape with each formulating unique tactics in a bid to outsmart the other. On the day of the race both teams were ready and confident of winning, comfortably. The outcome of the race was that the Mumbai dabbawalas beat the company team by a mile. The mood in the company team was close to freeze point as they could not believe their eyes, mulling over the fact that how could they be beaten by a team of mere lunch transporters? So shredding off their disappointment, the management hired a group of analysts to observe the situation and recommend an appropriate, game changing solution. After detailed analysis and acute observations the analysts discovered that the dabba team had seven rowers and only one captain. Your guess on the company team’s investigation? Well! They had seven captains and one rower! What a contrast to the dabba team! Facing such critical scenario the management of the company team enlightened themselves by showing some unexpected and timely wisdom. They came up with a master plan of hiring the consulting company of analysts to restructure their team and lend some credibility to their vigorous efforts. So after several months of postmortem and high drama the consulting company came to the conclusion that the company team had too many captains and too few rowers. The job of the consulting company was to propose a solution and what a solution did they propose? Yes! The structure of the company team had to be revamped. But, how were they planning to reshuffle the structure and designate proper roles and responsibilities to the individual members? They decided that from now onwards there would be only four captains, two managers, with one manager on top, followed by the single rower!!! Besides proposing this ingenious solution they also suggested to improve the rower’s working environment and provide him excellent training facilities so as to improve his core competency.

The next year the race was held again and this time the company team, with their new, overhauled structure were buoyed and ready to take on the dabbawalas. What do you expect the result of the race to be? The second time around it was no different, except for a slight adjustment in the victory margin. The dabbawalas had won yet again!!! But this time, by two miles. The mood in the company team’s camp was somber as they were heartbroken for the second successive year. The company team immediately expelled the rower, in an effort to make amends for their loss and restore their diminishing pride, but the bonus award was paid to the management for infusing strong motivation, that the team showed during their preparation phase. The consulting company showed their caliber yet again and laid out their outstanding, descriptive analysis in front of the higher management, revealing them, that the strategy was brilliant, the motivation was satisfactory but the used tool i.e. the oar had to be enhanced and the resource should be more experienced and capable of overcoming any hurdles. Currently the company team is designing a new boat, what for? Well! Your guess is as good as mine!

This story depicts what management is and what all steps are necessary to become a good, effective manager! Am I aiming arrows in the dark? Or, Am I projecting the facts with bitter sarcasm? What do you think? Are you ready for your CAT, XLRI…. and the horde of distinguished, career reviving, exams? Everyone wants to be a manager, the shepherd of the flock, of yet another cluster of managers!!! But, a mere, minor question, you need to ask yourself before taking the plunge and letting all hell break loose…Do you really, naturally, have it in you???


Saturday, July 17, 2010

My Striking Tale


It was that time of the year. I was in standard IX studying in Don Bosco School Siliguri, my month long summer vacation had just begun as my family was jovially laying out elaborate plans, preparing for a fortnight spanning holiday trip to THE most historic and political hub, the capital of India, Delhi. I was overjoyed by the divine thought of invading the picturesque places, the impeccable forts, feeling the sights and sounds of the landmark territory which until then I had only seen, imagined and read in my dull Indian History books, a necessary burden enforced in every grade of my schooling life. The excessive eagerness of envisioning history from the solemn eyes and paths of it’s esteemed creators leaped inside me like a wild horse galloping across a serene meadow. I whole heartedly thanked my dear father, endlessly but momentarily, for taking this monumental decision which seemed to be pending for ages, as we all stuffed our belongings and stepped out from the safe confines of our house.
“Yes! At last, we made it, Damn the books and their plethoric knowledge!” I said in my mind cursing them further, exaggeratedly, with a few relatively new abhorrent words that I had plucked up out of many utilizing my sixth sense.
We (me, my mother, father and sister) accommodated ourselves inside the auto with much painful grunts and anguish before settling in peacefully in our compromised places to allow the rickety auto to speed away in the direction of New Jalpaiguri Railway (NJP) station. The huge baggage dumped at the rear portion of the auto, protruding outwards perilously, intermittently exerted great pressure on my back as the vehicle turned left and right, carving it’s own way through the heavy morning traffic, making the start of my journey a very displeasing one.

As the auto was about to reach the entrance of the railway station, I recklessly threw myself out of it with the auto still in slow running mode, not able to bear the pounding anymore, my sore back had been undertaking. My mother expectedly gave me a stern look sighting my foolish suicide attempt, asking me through her harsh gaze to behave properly on the streets.
“I need hundred and twenty rupees, this much will not do. Saab!” the auto driver complained as my father handed him a hundred rupee note.
“What! You need twenty extra? We have been living here for twenty years now and we know what the rates are. Don’t you dare fool us? This is enough, leave now!” my father scolded as the dejected auto driver started the engine, ready to leave, suppressing his grumbles under it’s noise.
My father grabbed two huge bags out of the four present, as I mustered up all my strength to pick one of them with my mother picking up the other comparatively smaller one.
“Don’t do that! Give me the bag. You are dragging it.” my mother said from behind as I ran out of steam in an effort to lift the bag from the station floor.
“No! No! I will carry it. Don’t worry.” I said resolutely as I halted for few seconds to stabilize my breath and rest my aching right palm and fingers.
“Why don’t you guys get a coolie?” I said in frustration. That was it!!! I had invited the wrath of my father who gave me the second stern stare of the morning.
“Earn and then only you will learn.” my father spat back.
“See what kind of son I have, instead of helping me in saving money, I have to meet his princely demands!” my father added, rubbing salt on my wounds by uttering his hateful views about me, midway, in front of the crowd scampering by.
“Will you please keep quiet and just walk to the platform.” my mother said taking my side, perceiving the trauma, bearing which I was transporting the bag.
“Ah…! Thank God finally we have made it.” I said softly, mindful of the fact of not letting my words travel to my father’s sensitive ears.
We reached the designated platform well on time as we got few empty rusted iron seats to sit on, leisurely.
“I will be back in a while.” my father said as he probably left to inquire about the train and scan the charts with our names printed over it. Although I guessed the reason for his sudden absconding which was to grab a quick smoke, I kept quiet refraining from infuriating my mother again and also my father, in a way i.e. when he would come to know the name of the culprit.
“Mummy! I need to go the toilet!” my sister wailed out, the moment she sat on her seat.
“What? Let your father come back, I will take you then. Now sit.” my mother said.
“No! No! I want to go now! Emergency!” my sister wailed further.
“Ohhhh! What kind of children GOD has gifted me?” my mother uttered out as she stood up painstakingly holding my sister’s hand searching sideways waiting to find the nearest ladies toilet.
“Watch the bags carefully.” my mother ordered me as she left with my sibling in order to fulfill the job she was asked to do.
Amidst all this I found myself alone with strangers starring at me like they have never seen a boy, guarding so many bags and two empty seats to go with them, before.
“Great this was the perfect vacation we had planned!” I said to myself quietly.
“Where are your mother and sister?” my father asked hoarsely as if I was responsible for their absence.
“They have gone to the bathroom.” I said, rotating my head in the opposite direction in a bid to avoid any direct eye contact with him.
“These people cannot even sit calmly anywhere outside!” my father muttered as I tried to engage my mind in other thoughts refusing to hear his teeth clattering words.
My mother and sister soon became visible in my vicinity as I removed the two water bottles placed on the respective empty seats to allow them to sit and catch their breath.
“The train is five hours late! There is an ULFA strike in Assam!!” my father said breaking the horror news as my dear little sister did what she was not supposed to do i.e. pick up one of the water bottles and drink two sips from it.
“What?” my mother shrieked, enough to induce a stranger standing five feet away turn in our direction and have a close look at us.
“Now what should we do?” my mother said irritating my father even more.
“Yeah! What we should do now is lift our bags and head home!” my father said, sarcasm dripping from his face.
All my mother could do was, give him a dirty look and that was the end of that.
“Wonderful! Perfect! What a start to my vacation!” I exclaimed gathering the courage to speak out in order to wipe off the sarcasm from his face and divert his attention so as to prevent any untoward, ugly confrontation taking place with my mother.
Well, what else!! The third stare was inevitable, this time the only difference was, that both my mother and father gazed at me with disdain as I hung my head in shame.
“What is my fault? I was only trying to diffuse the situation!!!” I said, slapping my face in my mind for the untimely intervention in my parents’ volatile conversation.
The time passed by unpleasantly, tardily, as we all sat there wondering, occasionally munching and drinking, accompanied with frequent trips to the toilets, trying to figure out what to do for the next five hours, my father as usual juggling in and out at regular intervals for inhaling his cancer stick.
“I bet the toilet guard and every other railway personnel working on this platform must have known my family by now.” I chuckled sheepishly in my mind as the wait for the 2505 UP North-East express scheduled to arrive from Guwahati grew longer and longer.
The “express” train finally arrived after much speculation and atrocious delay, eleven hours late, boasting it’s presence by blowing the horns in an ear drum rupturing force as we all got ready with our respective bags to board the S8 sleeper class bogie.

“Oh God!!! What stinky smell! What crap train!!!” my mother denounced, covering her nose with her handkerchief with my sister following suit as we found our seats. My father and I avidly searched for every nook and corner below the seats in an effort to tuck in our luggage bags.
“Will you please keep quiet for two minutes, bear it for a while we are outside not at home!” my father remarked placing the last bag in an improvising way.
“Go right now and shut those doors! I am feeling severe nausea.” she said overriding my father’s plea as she directed me with her hands pointing to the toilets, pledging me to go quickly and shut the doors.
The smell of urine was unbearable; the train toilet doors were wide open as our seats were located, in the compartment just next to them.
Obeying my mother’s order was a challenge of a kind, one which I had never faced before in my short life. First and foremost, to accomplish my mission and come out of it unscathed, I had to overcome this strong nasal tingling, effervescent smell of nitrogenous waste. Secondly as I approached the doors though the narrow corridor I noticed a person lying down covered with a shabby shawl from head to toe, occupying the space between the two stinking rooms.
“How can someone sleep beside a dirty place such as this?” I asked myself in awe.
“Hey you!! Get up! I need to close the doors.” I said, waiting for a minute so that he would move or allow me to shut the damn thing but there was no answer from the veiled human.
“Hey you! Get up now, I say!” I said raising my voice to a higher decibel.
“Argggghhhh! Go away! You idiot!” the stranger grunted muttering out few sin words, scaring the wits out of me.
I had no choice but to find a way out to close the doors. The unpleasant odor by now had choked by lungs to death as I gasped for fresh air in an in-satiated manner. The decision had to be astronomical, I moved closer to the living being precariously standing directly over the unknown gender by stretching my legs and planting them on the edges of the toilet entrances as I tilted my body sideways in each direction once at a time getting hold of the slider lock screwed on both the doors, slamming them shut. A few more snorts from the concealed human, below, followed as the jarring noise irritated the person, seeing which I backtracked immediately in a hurry. I held my pose for a second, composing my balance just in the nick of time as the grunts horrified me further, inducing me to almost fall unintentionally over the individual.
“Mission impossible made possible! Who is this dirty creature? Bloody beggar! ” I said to myself, coming back to my compartment. As far as the rest of the journey goes the lesser described the better, the summer season was at it’s peak and being in the sleeper class the loo winds blowing in the hot dry summer through the rusted bars of the bogie windows made matters discomfortingly worse.

++++

The train finally reached it’s destination halting with a mild jerk at New Delhi railway station, a day after, as we all alighted from it lazily to gather a sense of the unfamiliar surroundings.
“We have to wait for three hours here. It is not safe to go outside now.” my father warned sleepily with a big yawn at the end of it as it was three o’clock in the morning.
My mother and sister occupied a few vacant seats as my father as usual disappeared for a brief amount of time to allow his lungs to inhale the cigarette smoke, with me strolling up and down the platform in excitement. The dawn ultimately broke through as the clock ticked six in the morning signaled by the chirps of the early birds singing aloud harmoniously.
“Let’s go! The taxi is waiting outside.” my father said as we all strained our bodies once again to pick up the luggage bags and dump them in the trunk of the standing taxi.
“Oh Bhai Saab!! Where? Which hotel do you want to go?” the Sikh driver wearing a colorful turban, emanating a sweet smell from it, inquired, realizing instantly from our appearance, of our inhabitancy from some other place.
“Take us to Pahar Ganj. Hotel Presidency.” my father said promptly.
“Do you have a booking there? Or else I could take you to some other good hotel. You know…” the sardar asked politely, searching for means to enhance his income.
“Yes I have already booked the room there. Just take us where I said.” my father said agitatedly.
“Ok Sir ji. As you wish.” the Sikh driver said reluctantly as he stepped on the gas boisterously.
We arrived at the hotel, settling in peacefully after my father completed all the required formalities. The extravagant breakfast was laid out invitingly as I attacked it, wildly stuffing my plate and stomach with hot aloo parathas (stuffed bread) and dahi (curd) to an innumerable extent, like I had been famished for food whole my life. The long journey had taken it’s toll on my body as I was tired and deprived of good sleep. The gut being full and the cozy bed to add to that made me slip into unconsciousness, dreaming and preparing my physique for the hectic days ahead.

The days ahead jaded us as we feverishly paced all over and around Delhi, viewing the widely acclaimed monuments of attraction, the Red fort, Qutub minar, Jama Masjid, Agra Fort, the magnificent Taj Mahal and the list goes on and on…
How could the memorial monuments (samadhis) be left behind? Coming this far and not visiting the memories and buried souls of our freedom fighters and eminent personalities of their time would have been an utter disgrace on our part, therefore in all respect and humility, joining our hands ceremoniously we paid homage to all the ghats, sthals and bhawans established extensively.
A trip to the holy cities, Haridwar and Rushikesh, and a two day visit to the cool sublime hills of Nainital marked the end of our vacation as we came back to Delhi to catch the return train to NJP, in a somber mood, halting for a day to get over the weariness our bodies had bore through these fifteen days.

++++

“Thank God! The train is on time!” I exhaled joyfully, reluctantly remembering our long arduous wait encountered at the start of the vacation.
The return journey seemed to be smooth as the 2506 DOWN North-East express cruised through the country side stopping periodically at major junctions running on impeccable speed and time as we were scheduled to arrive at NJP at ten o’clock in the morning.
“What kind of food is this? Isn’t there anything better to eat here?” I grumbled looking at the ugly pale color of lentils and rice served with an enormous price.
“Stop your complaints and eat as much as you like. Behaving like a king… eh!” my father said admonishingly.
“Why do you have to scold me always?” I said reacting angrily to my father’s coarse words.
“Why do you grumble always? Can’t you compromise; we are outside not at home. You will not get good food everywhere!” my father shot back frowningly.
“Yes we are outside not at home, so don’t scold me everywhere. Understand!” I said angrily now making my father raise his eyebrows and his hands along with it, in a bid to slap me at that very moment noticing my abrasive behavior.
“Will you please sit down? I will handle him!” my mother intervened with authority.
“No I will not eat now! Go away! I am going to sleep!” I said lamenting, climbing up to the top tier, creating a woeful scene in the compartment, in front of other travelers for my parents to bear.
“Son, come and have your food!” my mother said gently touching my forehead, coaxing me to come down and be normal.
“Leave him. He will come down by himself when he is hungry. Idiot!” my father deplored.
“No I will not come, I am not hungry and never ever will I eat again!!” I declared childishly.
My mother begged me few more times to come down from my perch and eat but I was adamant and did not heed her words. The hunger enraging inside me made my stomach pain acutely, emitting strange never before heard sounds from it as I struggled to close my eyes and sleep peacefully.

The train stopped abruptly with a vigorous jerk, characterized by an extended, noisy, screeching sound caused due to the intense friction between the wheels and the rails. People in deep early morning sleep in my compartment were jolted out of their senses, fearing the unknown, with some instantly predicting it to be a calamity of some kind, guessing intently, manipulating a disaster without knowing the actual facts.
“What happened?” my mother shouted without a delay, as soon as she was woken up by the jerk.
“Son, are you there? Are you fine?” my mother screamed as she and my father got up to view and confirm me and my sister’s safety on the upper berth.
“I am fine maa! What is the time now?” I said rubbing my eyes trying to view my surroundings.
“It is five in the morning. Get down.” my father ordered in a hushed tone.
“Must be some sort of a problem. I am going down to check.” my father said as I descended down amidst all the high pitched chatters and turbulent atmosphere early morning.
“I am opening the windows.” I said looking at other people sliding them open curiously in order to find out the problem.
I opened the dusty windows, carefully enough, evading the dirt accumulated on them as the cool morning fresh air stimulated my senses and blew into the compartment dissipating the heat and gases accrued overnight.
“Barsoi Junction? Where is this place?” I questioned myself inquisitively as I pulled out the bag containing the railway time table book.
The search for my train began as I glanced through the pages of the railway thesis.
“2506… huff!!” I remarked, exhaling in frustration due to the intensive search early morning.
“We are just five hours away from NJP. So we should reach by ten.” I thought, calculating the time from Barsoi to NJP.
“Shit!! Bihar!!! Oh no! Crap!!” I said in my mind, locating Barsoi in the India map, stitched in the same book, as my father came into the compartment carrying two hot cups of tea in each hand in a mud cup.
“Baba is this station in Bihar!” I asked trying to reconfirm it’s geographic location.
“Yes! It will take five hours from here to reach NJP.” my father ratified.
“What was the noise outside?” my mother asked.
“Not sure. A crowd has gathered near the engine. Must be some sort of a problem.” my father answered.
For the next one hour we finished sipping our tea and performed our daily morning chores, in turns, anxiously waiting for the train to resume it’s onward journey.
“Baba, why is the train not starting? It has been halted here for the past one hour!” I complained looking at the watch, the hour hand of which had just struck six in the morning.
“What! What do you mean to say? We are stuck here for twelve hours?” a man shouted as he went past by our compartment window.
“I will go and check what the problem is.” my father said as he distinctly heard the man’s voice.
“Sit… sit my man, where are you going? We are stuck here for eternity!!” our neighboring traveler said as he entered looking dejected.
“What is the problem?” my father asked hastily.
“Travelling through Bengal and Bihar does become a real pain sometimes, these guys are jerks and they can never progress! Uncouth fellows!” he abused raising my father’s apprehensions further.
“What is the problem?” my father asked again in a soft tone.
“I told you several times not to carry lime pickle in journey. Ridiculous!! See now what bad omen it has brought us!!” the superstitious man blamed his wife in a hushed way turning his attention to my father’s question.
“What else can happen? Some political party has called a strike and we have to suffer now! They are not letting the train move until the strike ends.” the traveler said.
“For how long will the strike carry on?” my father’s asked predictably.
“Twelve hours! We are stuck! They have beaten up the driver and dared him if he tries to start the engine.” he said echoing the rowdiness in the workers of the political party.
“Damned!! Why? Why does this happen to me always?” I sobbed silently cursing the political party.
“These guys do whatever they like! What will they gain from the strike God knows! By the way where are you guys going?” the traveler queried.
“Now what should we do?” my mother asked the dreaded, rhetorical question as I recollected her voice asking the same question at the start of the vacation.
“NJP.” my father answered curtly distressed by the situation at hand.
“That is just five hours away from here. You are so unlucky!!” the stranger said rubbing salt into our wounds.
“And where are you going?” my father questioned him back as they seemed to be bonded by the awful circumstances.
“IIIII…. I have a long way to go. I am going to Guwahati, it is thirteen hours from here. You see…” the traveler said beamingly as if the strike did not bother him. All we could do was nod back to him, with uncertainty writ large over our long faces.
The atmosphere was sticky and humid, the sweat dripping off from my forehead and back made matters even worse. I grew impatient trying distastefully to wipe off the foul, typically train smelly dirt emerging with bucketful perspiration pouring out of my face and body parts. We waited and waited and desperately waited…, every second felt like a minute, every minute an hour and every hour agonizingly seemed like ages.

“All right, it is time now!!” my patience subsided as I grouched in my mind, sitting like a sloth, idle for three long hours, boring me to death.
I got up from my seat, walked through the narrow empty corridor and stepped heavily on the cemented platform with a thud, determined to an extent to traverse the small station.
“Don’t go anywhere far!” my mother instantly warned me, keeping a keen eye on me. I had to comply…, therefore simply nodded in obedience without much fuss.
The adverse situation had it’s not so desirous effect on other travelers as they sat casually occupying the worn out wooden benches of the railway station, playing cards, cracking witty jokes at each other, some strolling nonchalantly to far flung corners of the station in an effort to pass their time, discovering and knowing every bit of the station as time ticked at snail’s speed.
All the station shops shut, no hawkers in view in far sight, the train’s taps eventually dried out with no railway employee available to supply water abode the desolated train. Life had come to a complete standstill, fearing the outbreak of unwanted violence from the party’s supporters roaming vigilantly in the area. The pantry personnel had stopped serving food and water after a while, the reason? Their near expenditure of the limited food stock and water possessed.
With my father in close proximity, I made up my mind to take the plunge, forcing my mind not to heed my mother’s words. The engine was far away from sight and as a kid I was always fascinated by it’s mammoth presence and aura, with the luxury of time being available at my disposal I determinedly paced towards it, thinking of minutely observing it today in every possible detail.
“Wow! What sound!! Hmm…But? The steam engine was more appealing.” I thought scrutinizing it as I came nearer to it.
The next moment I was hopping and jumping animatedly trying numerous times to peep inside the cabin when I finally managed to realize the absence of the driver.
“This is a good chance. Should I go near the cabin?” the dilemma hit me, the greed in my conscience now dictating me to trek up the stairway preceding the narrow path in the direction of the cabin.
“Should I go or just stay here and look?” I thought wrestling with the inquisitiveness growing in me exponentially, scaling dizzying heights.
I turned my head right and then left like a pedestrian waiting to cross a busy street at the right moment, scanning the boundaries searching around calmly, in an attempt to notice any undesirable movement.
No one in my detective eyes seemed to watch me or even look at me carefully. I put my right foot on the stairs as I tip toed sheepishly, hastily reaching my destination.
“God!!What are these?” I asked myself as I was amazed by the array of switches and colorful controls beautifying the cabin.
“Beware! Don’t dare touch anyone of them.” I notified myself in my mind about the potential unknown risk involved.
“What a great job it must be?” my infantile mind exercised trying to figure out speechlessly the operation of all the controls. Two hours flew in a jiffy as I stood there groping, vividly starring at the controls.
“Oh!!! Shit!!!” the thought of my parents momentarily clicked in my minds.
“I am a dead son now!!” the notion of hallucinating my parents panicky search sent shivers in me as I leaped from a dangerous height and ran with all my might towards the bogie. I could see my mother from a distance, standing at the coach entrance, gripping both the handles, peeping out in a coerced manner in all directions with a fiery look in her face.
“Where were you?” my mother interrogated, alighting from the coach.
“Why didn’t you ask my permission before straying?” my mother barraged me with questions, starring angrily, squeezing my ears annoyingly in full public glare.
“I… am Sorry!!” I said admitting my mistake in resignation as she loosened her tight clutch.
“Sit inside, until your father comes.” she said, pushing me inside with contempt.
The hunger in me bellowed, more because of the small sprint, knocking my stomach repeatedly as I recalled my previous night’s encounter, the appalling food then, suddenly appeared decent and edible to me. The starvation growing inside salivated my mouth unconditionally, as I pondered over the immature denial, filling me with heartfelt remorse.
“Maa is there something to eat?” my sister quietly asked.
“Good that she asked!! Thank you so much!!!” I thought letting out a sigh of relief.
“Send them out. Come, come outside!” my father said, appearing again in a short while, signaling from outside the coach conveying to my mother feebly to free me and my sister.
“Are you guys hungry?” he asked.
“Yes! Yes!” my sister and I said shaking our heads in the affirmative.
“What if the train leaves?” my mother said over hearing our conversation thereby raising a valid point.
“Please stay put. Nothing can move from here. It is a strike, they are not letting the train move, so how will it leave?” my father overruled in a harsh tone, dousing her suspicions.
We trotted the steep stairs, traversing the over bridge crossing the railway lines and platforms below to jog down and arrive at the main gate of the station. The air was filled with the inescapable, offensive odor of urine as people squirted their liquid wastes on a fungal wall located at a corner of the station street. I observed a small shanty eatery shack opposite to the wall presumably serving hot food to the people, being the only shop opened, it was packed like a can of sardines.
“What a place to eat? I did better go hungry than eat at such a dirty, unhygienic place!” I wondered making up my mind to bear the consequences.
My father made his way through the crowd ordering three plates of rice with piping hot daal and one plate to be packaged to go with it for my mother.
The food was on it’s way and I did not want to create another ruckus with my father by denying it, considering the efforts he undertook to feed our hungry souls. We managed to procure a small table at a less filthy side of the shop as a man came up with three leafy plates of daal rice dressed in a lungi folded in half from his feet with no cloth covering his black stark naked body.
The moment the food was served, the aroma of it blanked any inexplicable or foul thoughts in my mind. I ate like a hog ordering an extra two plates of rice and daal as my father and sister waited forever, for me to finish up my grand feast. The stomach was full to satisfaction and it was time to trudge back to our refugee camp.
As we slogged down the same path from where we came from, we heard the dreaded noise; the train’s horns were blowing in full animosity as if it was crying out to all the passengers to board it so that it could speed away any moment from the quaint station.
“Run!! Run!! Be quick!” my father uttered out a helpless cry as we the trio scurried through the over bridge to descend down to the platform where our train seemed to be halted for ages.
“Wait, wait for a second! No one is moving.” I shouted seeing the other travelers still sitting on the platform in their own lazy self.
The duo stopped abruptly on their tracks after getting a hang of my words and the surroundings as we all walked slowly towards our bogie to see my mother seated on the berth with a worried look on her face. I held out the packaged food that my father had bought, in front of her as she unpacked it and gobbled it up with content. Soon we realized that the horn was of a goods train which had also been kept waiting at the outskirts of the station.
Another four hours passed with us doing nothing, still waiting in intense anticipation for the train to resume it’s fateful journey.
“Twelve hours halted!! Man!!! This is cruel stuff!” I said in my mind. By now, we all had surrendered to the afflictive situation; our hopes had evaporated out by then.
It was five in the evening and the supporters of the political partly probably would have decided that it was enough for the day. Our bogie yanked slightly, I gazed out of the window demeaningly feeling the small movement. I noticed the objects going away from me ever so slowly in opposite direction, a ray of light flashed in me out of nowhere.
“The train has started!! Get in! Get in!” I uttered out a cry to my father who by then had boarded the train.
The horns blew in full blare, to the extreme as the train had finally resumed it’s forgetful journey, picking up top speed leaving the camped station behind, flaring the rails, encroaching the scenic countryside. We finally stepped foot on our NJP station at ten in the night, twelve painful hours delayed as we rushed to our home, sweet home, which had seldom looked so appealing to me, until then. Our eventful and deplorable vacation had at last ended with strike creating havoc and accompanying us wherever we went as the fifth member of the touring party.