‘What
the ****!!’
3AM in the morning - Lightning
struck! The music in my ears stopped. I pulled out my ear phones.
‘I
will drink to that!’ I told myself, enlightened; sat up on the bed and drank a glass
of water, bottoms-up.
The writing was on the wall. I
started staring at it like a lunatic.
‘What
happened?’ my wife asked, worried; her left eye painfully open.
‘Nothing...nothing!
Sleep...sleep...’ I whispered tapping her forehead, caressing her back to sleep
like a puppy.
‘What
is that smell? Did you drink and come again?’ she shouted opening her second
eye. They were wide open, glowing in the dark, staring up and down at me.
‘No...no!’
I stammered taking my hand off her head in a flash.
‘Don’t
lie to me!?!’ she thundered.
‘What..No..I
am not...Promise!’
She slammed shut her big-bulging
eyes, turned her back on me and rolled far away in disgust. I heaved a huge
sigh of relief.
‘Great...’
I lived to die another day; stealthily
slipped out of bed, turned on my laptop, and sat down gently; my butt kissing
the soft cushion of the squeaky chair.
‘I
hope the light stays...’ I prayed opening up the task manager window.
I had seen the silver lining; the
angry, midnight-blue clouds were howling; scolding me with a fluorescent stick
to fall asleep. But I was determined, in no mood to listen to anyone. Drunk to
the gills, struck by lightning I decided to have it down in writing.
‘I can
also become PM…’ I announced quietly; my voice quivering. ‘Yes, yes, why not...?’
I gave it a confident second thought. ‘No wait! Hang on... I am drunk!’
Realization struck. I was under
the influence of alcohol. It was not the best time to stand for the post of Prime
Minister.
‘If
not me then who else?’ I asked myself. ‘Rahul Gandhi?’
‘No! You
are better than him!’ pat came the reply in unison. My heart and mind were unanimous
in their decision. Sir Sri Pappu was out of the question and equation. ‘Then…in
that case it leaves just one person…’
‘But
will he be able to change everything? Something? Anything??’my heart screamed
in pain.
Silence followed. The clouds roared.
Droplets of rain started to pour. I was itching to break the silence, ask more.
‘Will…will
there be no scams once he becomes PM?’ my heart dared to ask.
‘Have
you ever bribed a government employee to get your work done?’ my mind shot
back.
‘What?’
‘Yes
or No!’
‘Yes, but
I was forced to…’
‘No
excuses!!’
I hung my head in shame.
‘What is
the matter? Go on…ask!’
‘What
about terrorist attacks? Can he stop them, if he becomes PM?’ my heart
attacked, pumping alcohol adulterated blood in full force into my nerves. I
could smell it at the back of my tongue.
‘Have
you ever been vigilant enough to report an unidentified object? Have you ever
tried stopping a crime from happening in-front of your eyes? Have you ever
reported a crime, filed a FIR, helped someone in distress or called 100?’ my
mind counter-attacked. There was nowhere to hide.
‘This
is no answer…’ my heart choked flooded with questions. ‘I need answers not
questions!!’ drowning, gasping, it cried for help.
My mind kept quiet. There was no
help in sight. Yet, my heart had not given up the fight.
‘Okay…Riots…?
What about them? Everyone blames him for Gujrat riots…Godhra kand! Am I to blame for that too?’
‘Good
question! But when did I blame you for anything?’
‘What…
Are you… Nothing! Forget it! Please answer.’ my heart requested.
‘Answer?
What answer?’
My mind was playing games. My
heart did not mind.
‘Godh…’
‘Do
you believe in God? Have you ever worshipped idols? Have you ever discriminated
people on religion? Have you ever mocked a person on the basis of religion? Do
you ever…’
‘Stop!
Stop!! Mercy! Have mercy on me please!!’ my heart begged; on it’s knees, trying
desperately to stop the heartburning queries. My mind was on the attack. I had
to stop the charge. ‘Why are you not giving me a straight answer?’ my heart
asked, harassed.
‘The
answer lies in the question… my dear friend! How crystal, clear, transparent or
vivid do you want it to be? Tell me!’
My heart missed a beat. The blood
in my veins froze. I was silenced into submission; shut my eyes in pain, trying
hard to envision.
‘Okay,
I get it! But if everything is to remain the same then why should I vote for
him?’ my heart asked, promptly skipping the irresistible rape and the million
dollar rupee question, saving itself from further humiliation.
‘Don’t
vote! Vote for the hand! Rahul Gandhi will become PM and show you his middle
finger!’ my mind mocked.
‘Non-sense!
I will show him mine after voting his rival!’ my heart righteously rejected.
‘Good!
But anything else you would like to do?’ my mind probed peeping into my soul.
‘I…I
will change… change for the better! And do my bit to help change the society
and the nation.’ my heart resolved taking a deep breath. The blood in my veins
started to flow. My mind was gung-ho.
‘Great!
Now we are talking!’
‘But what
about the party members and ministers? Will they be as corrupt as the Congress
and it’s allies? Will they support him to bring about change?’
‘Your
guess is as good as mine! Everyone is free to do what they feel like…’
‘Rubbish!
What kind of an answer is this?’ my heart cried out.
‘What
is this change, change, change…? If you do not change anything, why do you
expect others to bring about change?’ my mind
‘Because
he is the leader...’
‘So
are you! Every one of us is a leader, every one of us is a citizen of India,
every one of us is responsible to change ourselves and the nation!! Don’t we?'
It dawned on me. I slammed shut
the window. It was raining outside. I was sweating inside.
‘Errr…yes…’
As the clamour for Narendra Modi
as the Prime Minister of India reaches a crescendo I rag my soul with these
questions time and again. Change is certain. Time has come for a revolution. We
have to fight for our next generation. It’s now or never.
‘What…
What are you doing?’
‘Huh…nothing…nothing…’
I replied startled, shaking my head, wiping the beads of sweat off my forehead.
My wife was up and awake. The tête-à-tête was interrupted.
‘Nothing…?’
she probed.
‘I
mean just surfing…’ I said stretching, throwing my head backwards.
‘Is it
raining?’
‘Yes…’
‘It
is already 6 AM! When are you going to sleep?’ she interrogated, glaring at me.
‘I
will… in…’
‘What
is wrong with you? Have you gone mad? Don’t you have office tomorrow? Aren’t
you planning to go to office today?’
‘Yes,
I will… You go back to sleep. Leave me alone please!’ I pleaded, much to
contemplate.
‘Do
whatever you want to…’ she uttered jumping out of bed. Her hairs askew like a
crow’s nest.
‘What?
Where are you going?’ I asked.
‘None
of your business!’ she retorted, storming out.
‘What
the ****!!’
